Okay

After a long time of silence, I’m back!
Let’s start from the beginning:
For those who missed it on my social media accounts, I lost my eligibility (my right to play) in mid-September.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I do want to clear up some things to prevent unnecessary rumors.
There were some misunderstandings regarding my paperwork, which ultimately resulted in me having to sit out for 5 tournament days.

It was a VERY stressful period.
The coach told me I wasn’t allowed to play, and the school didn’t have an answer yet on what exactly needed to be done to restore my eligibility.

On top of that, it wasn’t even clear if I would be allowed to play at all this school year, leading to sleepless nights...
I had to miss our home tournament and a competition in South Carolina.
It still feels bizarre how something like this could happen because I did/do nothing wrong.
There’s nothing more I can do about it now, I’ve served my “punishment,” and finally, I can breathe again.

Now, on to the good part:
During my two weeks of suspension, I learned and changed a lot.
I now have a technical coach here in the U.S. It’s sometimes easier to see a coach “in person” than to video call, which I was doing with my Dutch coach, Floris.
I’m still working with Floris; he still knows me best. I discuss my swing changes with him, get his thoughts, and sometimes we make adjustments.
It’s reassuring to know that he still fully supports me.
The results came quickly—during the qualifiers, I had one round under par and two rounds close to par.
So, I’ve qualified again!

This week, I had my first match after a long break.
I was really nervous because, yes... many thoughts run through your head: Can I perform in a match? Is my swing stable enough? Am I good enough for a top 20 or a top 10? Was moving to America the right step, or should I have stayed in Europe?
To be honest, I struggle with this a lot.
I want to join the LPGA after I finish my studies, and it feels like I need to achieve so much in such a short time.

During the tournament, I showed some really good things, but also things I had never seen from myself before.
My scores were:
R1 +3
R2 +7
R3 +5

The tournament was held at The Merit Club in Illinois.
It was amazing to see how well-maintained a golf course can be, and it’s also Michael Jordan’s home course!
The course suited me well—you had to have a good long game, or your score would definitely end up in the 80s.
The big difference between a top 10 and a top 30 finish was made on the greens.

Rounds 1 and 2 were played on the same day.
The first round was decent; I was really close but lost some strokes on the green.
On the first tee of the second round, I lost all confidence in my game.
I was thinking about all the wrong things, and I was +8 after 7 holes… fortunately, I managed to turn things around a bit and finished at +7.
Round 3 was on the second day, and despite the second round, I felt good going into it.
It started well—I was even par after 13 holes.
But then I lost some confidence again, standing over my putts with trembling hands and taking way too many practice swings in my tee box routine.
That’s something I’ll need to work on in the coming period.
It may sound strange to others when I say my game is improving even though the scores are moderate, but I’m working on getting better.
It’s really frustrating to see how close you are to the top, only to end up 32nd.

There isn’t much time between this tournament and the next one.
At the moment I’m writing this, it’s Wednesday (one day after the Loyola Parkinson Invitational).
Next Friday, we’re off again.
In the meantime, I still have qualifiers, training sessions, and exams.

As soon as I have more news, you’ll find it here on my website!

With love,

Sophie